Want to be happier? You may need to think more about death
Want to be happier? You may need to think more about death
Want to be happier You may need – Kara Swisher, a prominent journalist known for her relentless pursuit of knowledge, has taken an unexpected turn in her latest exploration: the intersection of mortality and well-being. Her CNN Original Series, “Kara Swisher Wants to Live Forever,” delves into the innovations and philosophies driving the quest for extended life, showcasing how individuals and communities are redefining the meaning of longevity. Beyond the scientific advancements and technological breakthroughs, the series highlights a subtle yet powerful tool for happiness: the intentional reflection on death. By integrating this practice into daily life, Swisher reveals how it can transform the way people approach life’s challenges and cultivate a deeper sense of purpose.
At the heart of this approach lies a tradition from Bhutan, a small Himalayan nation often celebrated for its unique approach to well-being. Swisher explains that this culture encourages its citizens to contemplate death five times a day as a way to anchor themselves in the present and reduce anxiety about the future. The practice, rooted in mindfulness and spiritual philosophy, isn’t about despair but about sharpening awareness of life’s fragility. “It’s not about dwelling on the end,” Swisher says, “but about recognizing the value of each moment and what you’re truly meant to accomplish.”
Research supports the idea that mortality-focused thinking can enhance emotional resilience. A 2007 study found that individuals who regularly considered their own death were better able to savor positive experiences, a phenomenon known as “mortality salience.” Similarly, a 2017 investigation linked open conversations about death to a significant decrease in related anxieties. These findings suggest that confronting the inevitability of mortality doesn’t necessarily lead to sadness; instead, it can serve as a catalyst for clarity and fulfillment. Yet, in many parts of the world, particularly the United States, death is often brushed aside, leaving people unprepared for its arrival.
Dr. Brian Carpenter, a professor of psychological and brain sciences at Washington University in St. Louis, attributes this avoidance to cultural norms that emphasize youth and vitality. “In societies where aging is associated with decline, people tend to fear the process of growing older,” he explains. “This fear can distort their perception of life’s later stages, making them view aging as a time of loss rather than opportunity.” Carpenter argues that acknowledging mortality can foster a sense of community and meaning, helping individuals navigate the challenges of life with greater grace. “When you accept that your time is limited,” he says, “you’re more likely to prioritize what truly matters.”
Dr. Erin Emery-Tiburcio, a geropsychologist at Rush University in Chicago, adds that the fear of death isn’t always about the end itself. “For many, the dread comes from the idea of suffering in the final years,” she notes. “They worry about pain, illness, or the loss of independence.” This perspective underscores how cultural narratives about aging can shape personal fears. When younger generations lack meaningful connections with older adults who lead vibrant, active lives, they may internalize negative stereotypes about aging. “Without exposure to these positive examples,” Emery-Tiburcio says, “people are more prone to see aging as a burden rather than a phase of growth.”
Emery-Tiburcio emphasizes that embracing a positive outlook on aging doesn’t require ignoring its difficulties. “Illness, slowed physical abilities, and the loss of loved ones are real challenges,” she acknowledges. “But they’re also opportunities for connection, reflection, and legacy.” She cites the experience of grief as a transformative process, where the pain of losing someone can lead to a renewed appreciation for life. “When you’re close to someone, their passing can feel like a profound loss,” she says. “Yet it’s also a chance to say what you’ve always wanted to say and to leave behind what no longer serves you.”
Swisher’s journey into mortality contemplation highlights how this mindset can be applied to daily life. By confronting the reality of death, individuals may find themselves more engaged with the present, less consumed by future uncertainties, and better equipped to make decisions aligned with their values. This perspective aligns with the idea that fear of death can be a powerful motivator when channeled effectively. “The key isn’t to eliminate fear,” Carpenter says, “but to use it as a tool for growth.”
Cultural practices around death vary widely, with some traditions embedding it into daily routines and others treating it as an occasional topic. In Bhutan, for example, mortality is a central theme in education and daily reflection, helping citizens maintain a balanced view of life. In contrast, modern Western cultures often delay discussions about death, leaving people to grapple with it at the last moment. This delay can lead to unpreparedness, both practically and emotionally. “When you don’t plan for the end of life,” Carpenter warns, “you’re not only neglecting the future but also missing the chance to shape it meaningfully.”
Practical preparation for death can involve organizing personal affairs, discussing end-of-life wishes with family, and creating a legacy that reflects one’s values. These actions, often overlooked in favor of pursuing longevity through medical means, are essential for a holistic approach to well-being. “You don’t have forever to do what’s important,” Swisher reminds. “So why wait until the last minute to think about it?”
Some cultures have historically integrated death into their way of life, using rituals, storytelling, and communal practices to normalize it. This approach not only reduces fear but also strengthens social bonds. For instance, in many indigenous communities, death is celebrated as a transition rather than an end, fostering a sense of continuity and shared purpose. “By addressing difficult emotions with others,” Carpenter explains, “people are better able to learn and grow from their experiences.” This collective reflection on mortality can be a source of wisdom, helping individuals navigate their own lives with greater intentionality.
Lowering the risk of early death by 40% through lifestyle changes has been linked to a broader cultural shift in how people view mortality. By incorporating practices like mindfulness, journaling, or regular reflection on death, individuals can cultivate a healthier relationship with time and uncertainty. “It’s not about being sad,” Swisher says. “It’s about being wise.” This wisdom, she argues, can lead to a more fulfilling life, where each day is approached with gratitude and purpose.
In a world where death is often feared or ignored, the act of thinking about it can be a radical form of self-care. By acknowledging the finite nature of life, people are encouraged to make the most of their time, prioritize relationships, and pursue goals that align with their values. As Swisher’s journey demonstrates, the path to happiness may lie not in avoiding death, but in embracing it as a companion on the road to living fully.
